Rest in Peace
by Purple Gal
Summary: A story of two brothers love and sacrifice, can Adam stop him, or will Joe pay the ultimate price...Warning: Death Fic


_Ok guys, I guess I must be in a sorrowful mood or something. Sorry for posting something so morbid again so soon. But please enjoy and read and review. This is only my second story so I'm sure this will have problems..._

Rest in Peace. It's three simple words, engraved on countless gravestones. I never really thought about the phrase before. But as I sit at my kid brother's bedside wondering if he'll live to see the next sunrise, I am suddenly overwhelmed by the profound implications of those words. I find myself thinking back before all this happened...

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The kid had just turned seventeen. Joe and I were riding home from and business trip, and we took a short cut that ended up leading us to a cemetery. As we circled the cemetery I noticed Joe was reading some the grave stones as we passed. He wore a thoughtful troubled look on his face. I wondered that a cemetery would bother him so, as much death as he had seen living in this untamed west. He'd faced it a few times himself. Death was something you didn't really think about out here, it was a way of life, it was everywhere and often came quite unexpectedly. Yet, instinctively I knew that it was death he was contemplating as we rode by so many reminders of those who had left this life.

"Something you want to talk about, Joe?"

"Hmm, oh I was just thinking, Adam."

I thought about teasing him by saying, what a pleasant change, but I sensed this was important and so instead I said simply, "About what?"

"Rest in peace."

"What?" I asked in a puzzled tone, not getting his meaning at first.

"Look." He said as he stopped and swung his horse around to face the cemetery "It's on every gravestone, RIP, rest in peace."

"What about it?" I asked still not quite getting his drift.

"I mean what is it really talking about, resting in peace? Does it have to do with how we die?"

I said nothing, sensing he had more to say.

"I mean what if you get bushwhacked and murdered suddenly. It would be so sudden, so much left undone, you wouldn't get to say goodbye, would you rest in peace then? Or what if your an outlaw and suddenly killed, could you rest in peace? It would seem so unfinished, so wasted. I'm not deluded and I know I'm unlikely to die of old age out here, but how would you want to die? I mean If you died of sickness and knew what was coming or of something else with family around, that has a sense of closing and finality. Or even if you died suddenly, instantly while doing something meaningful, like defending the law or protecting someone you love, that would allow you to rest in peace. I mean doesn't `rest in peace', deal with how you lived and...and how you die? What exactly does `rest in peace' mean?"

I didn't really have any answers that day. We sat there staring at those gravestones for a while and then we silently rode away. I was chilled that my baby brother could so coldly contemplate the best way to die. But that day he had planted a seed...rest in peace?

***********************************

I thought back even further to the time when Joseph was sixteen and he almost sacrificed his life for mine. It had been so sudden, a senseless brawl that I had inadvertently become involved in. I was in town with Pa, Hoss, and Joe. It was a Saturday afternoon we had all finished work early and had decided to ride into town to run a few errands and get a drink. Joe had just recently been allowed to drink beer and only with Pa, Hoss, or I present. I had finished my errands first and was waiting in the salon when the fight started. It wasn't a problem until someone pulled a knife. I didn't see the knife until it was to late. It glinted as it sped towards my heart. Suddenly someone called my name and stepped in front of me, taking the knife in the middle of the chest. I caught my rescuer as he fell to the ground, realizing with dismay it was my kid brother.

The fighting has stopped in a sort of frozen horror when Joe was stabbed. The drunk responsible slipped out and I began screaming for someone to get the doctor.

Joe was close to death for quite a while, but he pulled through. Paul said that if Joe hadn't stepped in front of me I would have been killed instantly, as the knife would have penetrated my heart. He said by all rights Joe should have been killed as well, but he certainly wasn't going to argue about it. Neither would Pa, Hoss and I. As I sat by his bedside one day while he recovered Joe surprised me by quoting a bit of poetry he had heard somewhere

_Sometimes time is given and sometimes that time is taken away _

_For to save another and cheat death is to owe a debt_

_A dark figure waits for you now and call for payment he may_

_Enjoy each day but do not make light this contract and ne'er forget_

I was surprised by the content and that he actually remembered some poetry.

"What?" I asked in a puzzled voice at this sudden recitation

"Well how long do you think I can put off the mortgage?"

"How often do you think he'll extend my credit before he decides I'm no good for it?"

"Joe.."

"I've always been lucky. I bet I can cheat him at least a couple more times..." Joe said in an odd detached way

"Joe, that's not funny." I finally interrupted in a firm tone

"Sorry, Adam. I guess I have to much time on my hands just sitting in bed here." Joe said looking more thoughtful than apologetic.

"Sorry about that kid."

"It's not your fault. Besides you it was nice to save your neck for a change."

"Well thanks, but you'd better not try a stunt like that again." Adam fired back in a joking tone. But he really had meant it, with all his heart. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if Joe got killed trying to save him.

*************************************************

Now Adam began to recall the events of just 2 short days ago, why couldn't he have done something, anything different?

Joe and I had just been passing through. It was a little town not more than 4 hours ride from the Ponderosa, but one we've only ever visited in passing. We were returning on a business trip, and had been returning by that route. I had wanted to bypass the entire town but Joe hadn't wanted to waste the time detouring and so we had decided to ride straight through. That I thought, was my first mistake.

Then as we were riding through town we noticed a big disturbance in front of the jail, and we decided to investigate, and see if we could help. If we'd just left Joe would be safe, making that my second mistake.

We tied up our horses ran around the back and snuck in the back door. We passed by the cells that contained one praying man who didn't look up. Then we almost got our heads blown off by the sheriff when we entered the front office until he realized we were strangers.

"What are you doing here?!" He had asked us while lowering his shotgun. "And how did you get in?"

"We saw the crowd and wondered if you needed any help." I said "And my brother---"

"I sort of picked the lock, we figured you wouldn't mind." Joe interrupted me. Picking locks was a useful skill Joe had developed somewhere, Hoss and I had never found out exactly how. But it had come in useful a couple of times before this.

The sheriff looked us over slowly as though making his mind up about our intentions and then slowly replied, "No I don't mind. I can use some help."

"What's going on out there?" I asked deciding it was time to know what we were dealing with.

"They want to kill the man in that cell back there. He was passing through town when one of our leading citizens was murdered. No one even saw the murder, for that matter, no one really even saw him all that well as he'd checked straight into the hotel. People were looking for someone to blame and so I took him into custody to protect him. Now that crowd is all fired sure that he is the murderer and they are going to see `justice' done."

"What do you want us to do" Joe asked

"The mob won't listen to reason so I figure they'll rush the jail soon. I could use one of you out front here with me and one of you in the back room just in case."

"I'll stay in the front, Joe why don't you post yourself in the back." I replied quickly thinking Joe would be safer back there. That was my third mistake I should have known he wouldn't just stay in the background.

"Why don't you relock that door while your back there." The sheriff called after Joe as he left.

"I'll do that." Joe replied sheepishly.

I should never have left him alone! Adam thought with a sigh. He was still a bit unclear on what had gone on in the back room but he knew at some point Joe had decided to play hero. To bad this time he'd actually played the part very well, to well for his own good...

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Joe felt like he was floating, it was dark all around him, but he didn't mind. He felt a warm comfortable feeling all over. Yes, this was much preferable to the pain he had felt last he remembered. As he his mind drifted in this unconscious state he thought back to the circumstances that had caused all that pain he had now escaped...

He'd been sent to the back room by Adam. Joe knew Adam was trying to keep him safe, and Joe was willing to go along with it for now. But Joe promised himself that whatever that mob did out there he would do his best to keep Adam alive and well. Adam was his brother and he wasn't about to let Adam sacrifice himself for him. No, Joe would never be able to live with that...

When I walked into the back room the accused man looked up at me, I could see he was nervous. I remember thinking in passing that he looked sort of like me even though he was much older.

"Hi, my names Jonathan Cardon. I want to thank you for offering to help." I realized then that he had been listening to their conversation with the sheriff.

"No problem. My name is Joe Cartwright." When we shook hands I noticed what a firm handshake he had. This man may be worried, but he's no wimp, I remembered thinking.

"But really you shouldn't be here, the four of us can't stop that mob and now you are in danger as well."

"Now don't say that, I plan on getting out of here" Joe remembered smiling at the man and the Cardon hadn't been able to help smiling back.

"Well I'm sure you know much more about this sort of thing than I do, I'm an attorney."

"Really, I'm just a cowboy as you probably guessed. Do you have a family?"

I kept an eye out the back window as he answered.

"Yes, a beautiful wife and three kid, I can't wait to see them again. What about you? I know you have a brother."

"Actually I have two brothers and we all work on my Pa's ranch. My ma died when I was a kid but my Pa great, best man I've ever met."

"You know you don't look like much more than a kid now, Joe."

"Hey, I'm 17 and my brothers will gladly tell you I am the mature one of the family." I had joked with him

"Oh maybe I should go ask the one in the front room.." Cardon had quickly replied.

And so we had bantered back and forth. This allowed us to forget the seriousness of our situation until the first shot rang out from the front. Adam and the sheriff soon had quite the gun battle going on out front. But when I had run up front to check on them I remembered noticing they weren't shooting to kill. Soon we were too busy in the back to pay much attention to them, as a fairly large group of the mob snuck to the back. Like Adam I only winged people, the attorney had a gun but wasn't too good with it so he didn't shoot much. Soon I could see we were in trouble. They were about to rush the door and it would only take a couple of shots to break that lock off. Once that happened there was nothing we could do to stop the mob.

I glanced at the man beside me. I couldn't let the mob have him, he had to get back to his wife and kids. Then a plan began to surface. Adam would have killed me if he had known but he was busy up front and I knew I had to do this. I looked the man over carefully now. He was about my height, had similar brown hair, and had a slender build like me. He probably weighed 10 or 15 pounds more but it wasn't really noticeable. There was even a fleeting similarity of facial features. He had on a very distinctive red jacket and with that I knew my plan would work.

"Switch jackets with me." Joe quickly ordered.

"What? Why...No! I can't let you do that."

"Do what?" Joe said trying to play innocent

"No. Your just a kid, Joe and there's no way I would let you ----"

"Look! I'm not a kid and you need to get back to your wife and children."

"Joe, absolutely no. I couldn't live with myself. We have to find another way to---"

But I knew there was no other way and so I did the only thing I could. I murmured "I'm sorry, Cardon" and then I interrupted him with my hardest left hook, I'd use to knock bigger men than me out more than once. He dropped like a stone. Moving quickly I switched jackets and hats with Cardon and dragged him over to a corner cell. I laid him out on the bed and covered him up with a blanket hoping no one would notice him. I exited the cell and shut the door, moving away from the cell back to the door. _Now if I could just figure out how to keep Adam safe as well..._

My thoughts were interrupted by the mob shooting out the lock and rushing through the door. They shouted "There he is!" and two of them grabbed me and in a frenzy they began to move to the front office. I never did figure out why, when they could have just slipped out the back way. We burst through the door with me and the two guys holding me in the front. We almost ran into Adam, I figured he must have been coming to check on me. Adam recognized me immediately. He quickly pointed his gun at one of the men holding me, his first thought being to free me, his kid brother. But I knew if he killed that man the mob would kill him too. So I did the only thing I could, as his finger squeezed the trigger I pulled loose and stepped in front of the man.

I felt a sharp suffocating agony erupt in my chest, but I still had to save Adam. Knowing my time was running out I tottered forward, knocked the gun from Adam's hand with my right fist and hit him across the jaw with my left. The punch was weak but he stumbled backwards, mostly from the shock and extreme mental agony of shooting me. For that I was sorry, I didn't want him to feel guilty. The other men by now had rushed into the room, disarming the sheriff and grabbing Adam. As I began to drop I felt myself being held up roughly by a pair of hands. I was fading but I remember dimly being rushed out of the room and onto the street. I seem to recall being thrown to the ground and hearing the explosion of gun shots. I remember feeling the most extreme agony. But what I remember most is the look of absolute horror and guilt Adam wore on his face. I hated it, but at least I had saved him and that was my last conscious thought as I drifted away into this warm darkness.

As Joe finished his remembering he felt his thoughts fading away and his mind began to numb again..

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Adam remembered thinking he should check on Joe to make sure everything was alright back there. He had heard the shots and needed to check. But he was to late, far to late. He'd only gotten close enough to the door to shoot Joe at point blank range right in the middle of the chest. He saw Joe in the accused clothing, felt him knock the gun out of his hand and hit Adam with that left hook of his. Then Adam knew why his Joe had stepped in front of that bullet, and it tore him up inside. Joe, his kid brother was trying to save him, the know it all big brother who was always getting on him about growing up and being responsible. _Well Joe had proved him wrong that day, oh yes Adam, you've been wrong about so much._ Adam thought with a bitter laugh. It was a cold expression filled with remorse, guilt, and bitterness.

Adam would never forget the mob dragging Joe outside and tossing him in the dust on the street, hearing the shots ring out as they tore into his brothers crumpled form, or seeing the last look his brother gave him so full of pain and love.

He and the sheriff had eventually gotten control of the situation, all to late for Joe. He turned his brothers bullet ridden body over and discovered a pulse. He was alive but Adam's logical mind was already telling him he wouldn't stay that way, and that was enough to make the implacable college educated Adam Cartwright shake uncontrollably with fear and sorrow.

The accused, a man named Cardon had woken up filled with guilt. Yet when Adam saw Cardon, he couldn't help the burning hatred he felt for the man, even though inside he knew he wasn't to blame.

Joe was lying in a hotel room unconscious. He needed a doctor but the only one around had been involved in the mob. When Adam went to see him the doctor was very repentant. Adam was torn between his rage and his reason. Finally reason wore out and the doctor saw Joe. It had been hopeless from the start, the doctor told Adam that. He said the first bullet in the chest alone should have killed him. Adams right hand was trembling, the hand he'd used to shoot his brother...

******************************************

So now Adam sat at Joe's bed wide awake despite the late hour, remembering. He'd never forget the moment the doctor told him there was nothing, absolutely nothing he could do. With those few words, Adam's world was shattered. As he watched Joe's chest slowly move up and down barely breathing he knew if his kid brother died it would never be put back the together again.

Joe's bleeding was labored now, it was marked by an unmistakable rattle, the sound of a dying man. Tears were running unashamedly down Adam's face.

It wasn't right that Joe risked himself for a man he didn't even know.

It wasn't right that Joe had chosen to step in front of Adam's bullet.

It wasn't right that Joe had been forced to make the decision to save his brother.

It wasn't right that Joe was lying in a strange hotel room, in pain.

It wasn't right that Joe didn't have his whole family surrounding him.

It wasn't right...it wasn't fair that Joe was dying...

and Adam was to blame, and there was nothing he could do to save his kid brother. He began to murmur over and over _Don't you leave me kid, please don't leave me..._

As Adam watched Joe he saw his eyes begin to flutter.

"That's it Joe! Time to wake up kid."

"Adam..." Joe breathed, his eyes filled with pain

"It's alright Joe, everything is going to be ok now."

"He finally called the loan..."

"What? Who?"

"I did cheated him more than once...told you I would...owe him a debt...borrowed time..." Joe continued not seeming to hear me.

With a chilling realization I realized what he was talking about, that stupid poem that now returned to my memory. "Joe! Joe stop. don't talk like that, your awake it'll be alright now."

"I'm so tired Adam..."

"Joe you can't go to sleep right now, you need to stay awake till Pa gets here."

"Sorry I can't...stay awake...tell Pa I fell asleep...so sorry..." Joe's eyes began to close

"Joe! Joe..."

_and Joe slowly opened his eyes again. Joe could feel the blood trickling out of his mouth...he knew he didn't have much time...he had to make Adam understand..._

"Adam I love you...Pa and Hoss...too...tell them for...me please...I have to go to...sleep now...can you say... goodnight to me now Adam..."

Adam remembered when Joe used to ask him that, when he was a little kid, as he headed up the stairs to bed. Adam knew what the kid was really asking now, if Adam would be alright if he went to slipped into the deepest of sleeps...

Then he lied. "Goodnight kid, I love you..." No, he would never be alright, not without Joe. But he wouldn't cause the kid any more pain...

Joe just looked at him for a moment, his eyes took on a far away look. Then he looked Adam straight in the eye, his gaze clear and bright, and he smiled.

"Read to me Adam, please...remember that one time...when you tried to read to me...that poetry...I don't remember...the whole thing...

_Because I could not stop for Death _

_He kindly stopped for me _

_The carriage held but just ourselves _

_And immortality._

Adam...how did it end..."

_Of all the poetry I read him...oh Joe..._

I started to answer him, I wanted to read to him, but he was already leaving me...

"Adam...goodnight..." Joe murmured. He smiled, his best smile, that beautiful charming smile...

Then his eyes slowly closed. And for a few more moments he breathed still. Then my life, my heart, my spirit, died within me as he slowly took his last breath. His smiled faded and then my kid brother moved no more...and death collected his due...

"Rest in Peace..." I whispered as tears poured down my face uncontrolled and unchecked...

My thoughts began to wander...Somehow I'd have to tell Pa. That my baby brother was dead, because of me. I wondered absently if he'd ever forgive me. Not that if really mattered, I already knew I'd never forgive myself...


End file.
